courtesy of ABC

courtesy of ABC

For weeks (months?) I’ve been awaiting the arrival of ‘American Housewife’ with all of the excitement of a giddy high school girl waiting for the prom.  A freshman girl going to the prom with the senior captain of the football team.  Yes, THAT giddy.

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courtesy of ABC

Why?  Because the trailers for ‘American Housewife’ promised me the one thing I crave the most in television: a funny, sassy, plus-size woman who loves herself, owns her beauty, lives her life to her own standards despite the people that surround her.

To put it to you in “my” kind of terms: they promised me an awesome, fat, damsel not in distress.

To prove that promise, here is a quote from ABC about ‘American Housewife’:

Katie Otto, a confident, unapologetic wife and mother of three, raises her flawed family in the wealthy town of Westport, Connecticut, filled with “perfect” mommies and their “perfect” offspring.

That is SO not what we got.  What it delivered was fat joke after fat joke after fat joke after fat joke.  Our housewife, Katie, (played by the gorgeous and charming Katy Mixon) was not confident and unapologetic.  She was fatphobic, self-hating, and just plain mean about the other women in her town for almost the entire episode.

I haven’t been this disappointed since the first episode of Mike & Molly… yet another promise of a confident curvy main character ruined by fat-phobia, fat jokes, and dieting as a way to find happiness.  Just EWW.

But back to American Housewife… my heart is broken, yet not completely destroyed.  Despite the disgusting search for a neighbor fatter than herself and many references to her former neighbor “Fat Pam”, the end of the show offered some hope.  By the end she’d come to a realization, and maybe, just maybe, she will become the confident, unapologetic person we were promised.

If you have read any of my books, then you know I like my ladies to be confident, kick-ass, yet flawed.  Self-love and acceptance doesn’t happen overnight.  Life is a process.  Some days we do it well, some days we don’t.

If, after the disaster of the first episode, that is what Katie Otto turns out to be: a woman just trying to make it every day, then my little heart will be mended and I will once again rejoice.

However, if, as I fear, the fat jokes keep on coming, I will throw a tantrum and never watch it again.  And by tantrum I mean, I will tell all of my followers and fans (all three of you) to boycott it until ABC pulls it or changes the format.   Which really, I don’t want it pulled, because I LOVE Katy Mixon, and I believe she has the moxy to make Katie Otto the character we all (meaning: me, I, the “royal we”) want her to be.

So tell me, did you watch ‘American Housewife’?  Love it? Hate it? On the fence?  Tell me why.  I heart comments.